Australia’s deadliest animal is its best kept secret!
High up in the canopy of the Australian forest lurks an animal so vicious, so quick, he can strike before you’ve had a second to get your animal repellant out of your Macpac. You might have all the best gear – Patagonia breathable hoodie, Kathmandu leggings, Salomon shoes, Platypus water bladder… but are you prepared for the unexpected onslaught of the Drop Bear?!
Dr Volker Janssen, an Honorary Research Associate in the School of Geography and Environmental Studies at the University of Tasmania has fearlessly tracked these dangerous creatures using GNSS Technology and has published his findings in the Australian Geographer. Here is what the distinguished academic had to say:
Unlike other peculiar Australian animals such as the bunyip and the hoop snake, which are rarely encountered in even thinly populated areas, drop bears pose a considerable risk to unsuspecting bushwalkers, particularly tourists, because they closely resemble the koala.
Several methods have been proposed to protect humans from drop bear attacks, although their effectiveness often remains scientifically inconclusive (e.g. Skywalker 2008). These methods include wearing forks in the hair, spreading vegemite or toothpaste behind the ears or under the armpits, urinating on oneself, and avoiding talking in a foreign language or an accent other than Australian.
Studies have indicated that by-products of the interaction between chemicals found in vegemite and those found in human sweat repel drop bears (Honeydew 2003). Most Australians and immigrants who have lived in Australia for long periods of time tend to eat vegemite consistently (usually at least once a day), so exuding these chemicals through their skin permanently, and are thus protected. Visitors, on the other hand, do not have this ‘natural’ protection and are therefore advised to apply a liberal amount of vegemite to the skin, the most suitable area being just behind and towards the top of the ear because this area is prone to sweating and closest to the top of the head.
While it is recognised that more research is required, there is unmistakable evidence that tourists are much more likely to be attacked by drop bears than Australians. Genetic analyses suggest that this may be related to the Australian ‘mateship’ trait which extends to animals unique to Australia (Crikey & Beauty 2008). Furthermore, it has been shown that drop bears can detect foreign languages and are prone to target the origin of such sounds, but using the Aussie lingo may fool the average drop bear (Stewart 2005). There are therefore important and unusual parallels with the equally rare invasive alien species, the Bundy bear, which similarly favours arboreal habitats and preys on tourists, especially young female blonde foreigners. However, drop bear attacks on humans are rare, mainly because Australians are familiar with drop bear ecology, tourists are deliberately diverted and reality TV survivor series are usually undertaken elsewhere.
What does this mean for outdoor lovers?
Being someone of Irish origin who cannot stomach Vegemite, these findings are particularly disturbing. Could it spell the end of my love of walking in Australia?
This website will carry up-to-the-minute information on sightings of Drop Bears in the Byron area. Check back in regularly!
For details on the best walks in Byron, Tweed, Ballina and Nightcap National Park order the Byron Trails guidebook.
